NEW ORLEANS (WGNO) –– The holidays are a time for families to come together, but that doesn’t mean these moments are without conflict, so it’s important to navigate these hurdles and try to find your joy amidst the chaos.
Counselor Dr. Kimberly Chandler explains the best way to approach a potentially tense family gathering is to let go of your expectations.
“People want to have these storybook holidays, and they feel like folks won’t normally get on their nerves, or they won’t be the people that they already know them to be,” said Chandler.
She said it’s also important to steer clear of sensitive topics that often lead to heated arguments. Subjects like religion, politics and personal life choices should be avoided to minimize the potential for conflict.
But no matter how much you want to avoid a topic, you can’t stop someone else from bringing it up. Chandler said it’s important to communicate and enforce personal boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Remember that you have control over yourself and how you respond.
“Every question doesn’t require an answer,” she said. When people try to instigate conflicts, choosing to stay quiet can diffuse tension and prevent arguments from escalating.
If you know the gathering might get dicey, bring a friend or a partner who can help ease the tension or let you know when it’s time to leave. “It’s sort of like having that designated driver,” said Chandler.
She recommends that you keep joy at the forefront. Concentrate on the positive aspects of the holidays and find ways to bring joy into your life and the lives of others because some people wish they had a family to spend the holidays with.
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