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Making New Year’s resolutions without hurting your self-esteem

NEW ORLEANS (WGNO) –– The New Year often inspires a fresh start and a desire to improve oneself, but the focus is often on weight loss or appearance rather than overall wellness, and that can be triggering for those struggling with an eating disorder.

Eating disorder specialist Eleanor McAuliffe said, “You hear people talking about, ‘I ate so bad’ or ‘I’m going to start this extreme exercise regimen next year’ or a diet.” She adds that these kinds of goals can set you up for disappointment and suggests setting small, attainable goals that contribute to overall well-being. For example, engaging in regular movement can be as simple as going for a walk a few times a week.

By making these changes enjoyable and free from pressure, you can avoid the cycle of disappointment and low self-esteem that often come with resolutions based solely on physical attributes.

How you talk about your goals and your body doesn’t only affect how you see yourself. “Children really model off of what they hear their parents talking about,” McAuliffe said. “I work with families who say, ‘I’ve never said a disparaging remark about my child’s body,’ and then I have to ask parents, ‘But how are you speaking about your body?'” By modeling acceptance and focusing on holistic well-being rather than appearance, parents can foster a positive body image in their children by encouraging positive self-talk.

Holiday gatherings are often food-centric. Those experiencing or in recovery from eating disorders may experience increased anxiety and triggers. “I liken it to somebody who’s really trying to stay sober. We wouldn’t put them in a bar, right?” McAuliffe explained.

She suggests avoiding conversations about appearance and diet talk. “We have so many more important and interesting things to talk about than our diets, than our exercise routines.” When those topics come up, change the subject. “If you can do that little bit of redirection, that can really help somebody who might struggle with those types of thoughts and behaviors.”

Eating disorders affect about 30 million Americans, stretch across all demographics, and have the second-highest case mortality rate of any mental illness, resulting in more than 10,000 deaths each year.

McAuliffe said eating disorders are not solely about body weight or shape; “they are not a disorder about vanity.” Instead, they are complex disorders that serve as tangible coping mechanisms. But she emphasized, “They’re not good coping skills.”

There’s also a common belief that anyone with an eating disorder is going to be very thin, but that’s not always the case. “The majority of those individuals are of an average weight or even a higher weight, so we have to get around that stereotype,” said McAuliffe.

If you are struggling with your relationship with food, McAuliffe recommends reaching out to a therapist or dietician who specializes in eating disorders.

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